Jun. 3rd, 2017

batsybeth: (Panda)
I tend to bounce about when it comes down to mental illness - like some kind of seesaw going up with anxiety and crashing down with depression. In more recent times in the middle of doing the schema therapy trial (before I quit the trial in 2016) I started getting outbursts of anger more and more often. Thankfully I have been able to hide my outbursts without taking it out on someone so far, but it still sucks when they do happen.
And be it anxiety, a crying fit or anger - they all take up so much energy before I come crashing down and start to feel sad or numb; somehow even both sometimes.

Hence the blue mood - or internal muddy molasses waters... perhaps blue mood works better.

I know that ever since I've been feeling like crap in the sad-sense, I've been repeatedly listening between two songs over and over.

Music by Allie X and Evanescence... it's gonna be a party woo. )

Maybe I should try listening to something happier for a bit, like the Moana soundtrack or something.
Or I could go back to doing what I was already doing before I started this post and go back to listening to these two songs some more.








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